Cheap controversy, worthless publicity stunts, bland retrogressive outpourings which promote blind stupidity of sexist thuggery. The Macc Lads stand accused of all this and more, but are they merely exploiting our solemn naivety?
Is their attitude one of liberation rather than repression?
Anything is possible. Here, Silas Cribbert fights desperatley to stay within an open mind as he braves the potential violence of inner Macclesfield

I pick up the Walkman and put on the headphones. I don't know what side of the tape I am listening to. I have no track listing. I press the play button.
"Beater's in the back seat, his crack is..." CLICK.
I turn the tape over. "She said I was good-looking and she said I looked bit like George Michael. But she didn't want... CLICK.

I pick up the phone and dial 0625 for Macclesfield. I get through to what may or may not be a human being. It's name is Muttley and is very suspicious of my motives.
"You're not a poof are you?" he bellows.
I assure him of my heterosexuality along with Deb the photographer, Chris the roadie and Charlie the passenger. We arrange to meet the infamous Macc Lads at the Ash Tree in Macclesfield on Sunday afternoon.

Obviously a publication of Muze's calibre wouldn't consider talking to those champion arbiters of bad taste, The Macc Lads, but their argument has attained such a high profile of late. It would be a narrow-minded magazine that would not allow them freedom of speech...

Who is that?

Muttley: "That's Young Man. He's Stez Styx's understudy. Stez is inside so I'm teaching him to drink beer. The Beater's teaching him to pull crack and Stez is teaching him to beat up poofs."

The band explain that Stez is inside for beating up queers. They explain that this has presented them with drumming problems.

Beater: "We had Charlie on drums for a while but then Cheeky Monkey came along and beat him up. So now he's Charlie-not-so-hard and Cheeky Monkey's far too pissed to turn up for this interview."
Where is he?
Muttley: "He's unconscious in a field behind the Bear's Head waiting for it to open."
We heard that Stez had gone to London.
Beater: "Well he set off for London because he had heard that there were lots of queers down there and he'd run out of ones to beat up in Macc. He got as far as Congleton before he ran into the local constabulary and he's in Strangeways now. He's quite happy because he can see Boddington's brewery and there are lots of poofs to beat up."