AL O'PEESHA INTERVIEW

Interview by Liquid Goblin 22/12/98

Al O’Peesha was the "thin and thinning roadie" and later the "bald, skinny guitarist". He hung around the Lads for years before being given the job of being rude to people at Hectic House. In 1991 he stood in for the Beater, and in 1993 became the rhythm guitarist in the new four-piece line up. Today he is still an obnoxious little cunt.

When and how did you first get involved with the Lads?

I moved to Manchester in 1985, and bumped into Chorley the Hord who was in a band with Uncle Knobby. He gave me a tape, I think it was Eh Up! I put it on my Walkman and had to walk twice around the block when I got home to listen to the end. I couldn't believe what I was hearing! So that's it. Beater and Cheeky Monkey both fucked off around this time and Muttley drafted in Knobby and Chorley. The dismal grey haired Pakki came back, I went to see them, and hung around from then on.
Why didn’t you ever fight back when the fat roadies jumped all over you?
 I was slim and svelt and they were vast piles of blubber,
several tons each. It would have been like farting in a hurricane.
Do you rest easily at night knowing that Sandbach still believes you buggered him while he was asleep?
 I sleep very soundly.
Unfortunately Bach can't sleep with the light off.
Is it true that you used to do shite-all when the audience invaded the stage?
 That's about right. What's the point of employing several fat and useless blubbery things if you have to be fat and useless yourself?
After your heart attack in 1992 you put water in a beer can at gigs to con the fans you were still on the ale?

 

That's shite. It was piss.
Did you ever get injured at a gig?
 Regularly. Every gig I was pounded to a pulp by the roadies. I spent a lifetime in casualty in Hull with a busted head, hit by a bottle of some description. Hull's one of those towns where the population have nothing better to do than put each other in hospital.

Did Chorley deserve to be called an "effeminate fairy-cake eater"?

 He was an effeminate fairy cake-eater. He spent most of the day sucking his cheeks in to maintain good bone structure. Most drummers with a spare five minutes would practice their paradiddles. Chorley would practice on his neck with the top of his fingers to make sure he didn't get a double chin. He looked like an 18th century hair dresser.

Tell us about the time at Coventry where you asked the roadies nicely not to beat the fans up too much. And then ...

 There was a bloke squashed at the front. He gestured me over and you can't hear what anyone's saying. So I bent down, and he gobbed in me face. Charming. Then he gestured me over again- but this time he lamped me.
The third time I walked over and kicked his head off. The best bit was that he was trapped at the front and couldn't get away. Little cunt deserved it. He was from Coventry.

In your years with the Lads is there any one event that stands out in your mind more than anything else?

 

 

The Gravy Train! Gear loaded up, drove into the hills. Soundcheck at 8am. Big valley, and I mean big. They struck up - and absolutely all the pigs, sheep and cows legged it. As far as the eye could see there was livestock scattering to the four winds.
Another time.. Nevis on stage, looking menacing, picking on small helpless fans. Then a 4 stone runt got on stage. Nevis picked him up by the scruff and really headbutted him as hard as he could. Explosion of bone, blood, gristle and flesh. It looked like a Tarantino film. Everybody winced. Then, the poor 4 stone runt rubbed his head and walked off. Nevis' head was in pieces.
What’s the most disgusting thing you’ve ever seen thrown on stage?
 Every time at Liverpool we'd clear up the stage - and there'd be a bit of pig. The first time a trotter, then a pig's ear, then a pig's knob... Very sad. How long does it take a butcher's apprentice to learn how to lob a pig's knob off?
Is Macc really a hard bastards' paradise?

There's bouncers at Marks and Spencers. The reason that Stez Styx had that bad haircut was because nobody dared tell him it looked stupid.
K2 said you're "the Withnail of Macc".
Do you deserve this cowardly mantle?

The hypocrisy is staggering! He was like Shaggy from Scooby Doo. His bones would have shaken together had they not been separated by so much blubber.

Your dog Rowell used to get pushed around a lot by Muttley’s dog Brian...

 We put Rowell's name as the contact so dipshits would write to the Macc Lads not realising they were writing to a dog.
A very stupid dog at that.

Which of the Macc Lads was the most colossal cunt and which the best bloke?

Muttley was the colossal cunt and also the best bloke. I got on with all the band, they fell out with each other.

Which was better: being a roadie or actually being in the band?

 I'd have to say being in the band- because of the vast amounts of beer and women.
Do you have a favourite Macc Lads song?
 I've got a few. I always liked Torremolinos, the first version of Made of Ale, England's Glory and also Apprentice Dentist as it's got two chords in it.
All the rest have three.

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