Macc. English Dictionary




Git- Most agree that Knobby's version is the more wholesome recording.
Baldy sent his kids
away whilst the Lads recorded this
for the B-side of the ill-fated Eh Up! single.

Beater- My version is the best.
I reworked it so no one else could ever play it. Ha!

Chorley- Why was she going to Morecambe?

Muttley- Shut up, you long-haired mincing faggot.



Git- Sadly this song was only ever played once:- when it was recorded.
Bald Eagle assures me that the horn sound is an authentic Porsche horn.
Unfortunately, this means that non of mine are real Porsches.

Chorley- I have no recollection of this song at all. How does it go?

McCavity- Its the one with the crap drumming.

(Interview stopped when McCavity spat meths on Chorley, & chased him with a zippo).



Git- This story comes from a drunken stag night when the Lads were watching a grubby video...
The 'groom to be' claimed he could not make out who was who and what was what
in the
pile of naked squirming bodies. He freeze-framed the tape, pointed to a pink bit near a tongue, and asked what it was.
"That's a clit!" Chorused the Lads.
"A what?" He replied... It did not bode well for the bride-to-be.



Git- An unrecorded gem,
penned after a late night drinking session in Hamburg.

Mard- German prostitutes... bloody hell! Its obviously a part-time job.
During the day they're
lumberjacks or Russian weightlifters.
We we're in this bar, the door flies off its hinges,

and this "thing" walks in dressed in red fishnets.
I thought it was a phone box at first.
But phone boxes are smaller and not as wide.
It picks up two sailors, one under each arm
and waddles off.

Dread- So 'im run out to de fancy dress shop, innit?
An 'im am buying de sailor's outfit.
An 'im go back in de bar, an 'im wait. Innit?
O'Peesha- You fucking what?



Git- This song contains my second favourite ever piece of pop music.
For those who are interested,
its the "Oh, right you are.." part.
In the unlikely event of anyone wishing to know more...

you can't beat 'Poor People of Paris' by the great Winifrid Atwell
Stez- There's a bootleg tape going around from a gig around 1992.
The version we do of this song
is so fucking hard... I think I'm going to have to hurt somebody.
Beater- Huh? Oh, bollocks.



Git- During the concerts at which I have been present, this tune is undoubtedly the high point.
I am given the impression that the whole crowd had been practising the 'Fuck Off!' bit
their bedrooms for months; (but not too loudly, in case their mothers heard).

Muttley- I wrote this after that Brussels football disaster in 1985.
- The one where all the bogrolls fell down and squashed those Italians.
Chorley- The Isol Stadium Disaster?

Beater- We got back from Brussels and every paper had that disaster on the cover.
Except the
Macc Express:
"Who will be Miss Macc '85?"
And loads of pictures of hounds in swimsuits.
Stez- You locked yourself in the bog for hours with that paper.

O'Peesha- I think that was the last time they held the Miss Macc competition.
Decades of tradition
ruined by a pop song. Who said rock n roll can't change the world?



Muttley- First game of the season we found the Moss Rose was now full of seats!
These two tugs sitting in front kept standing up, then sitting down.

O'Peesha- Everytime they stood up, we got this view of sweaty builder's arse.
Everytime they sat down, a fountain of sweat squirted out of their cleavages.
We made up the song on the way home.

Mard- We lost 1-0 to Fulham, if anyone's interested.


Git-The proper title is Eh Up!... Macc Lads, but always been referred to as 'Monkees' as some say
it bears a passing resemblance to the Monkees Theme. I don't see it.
Most copies of this single were destroyed after a legal tussle with a man in a suit.

Beater- The first time we recorded this, I played drums. Because I'm a better drummer than him.
But that meant Gutley had to play guitar, and the whole thing sounded shit.
Stez couldn't
remember the words, so he sang 'Fucking Gudnt!' all the way through.
It was arse.