MISS MACCLESFIELD ƒ  B A F# G G#m D#9 C#9 She was the perfect woman, she was my kind of a bird She stayed in the kitchen and never said a word She had real big tits and a lovely slappable arse But now she's into barbeques and wine bars I used to go out with her, she cooked me all my meals Then one day she made it big, she won 'Miss Macclesfield' She married an Italian just coz he was posh They honeymooned in Brussels, he played a bit of squash Next she wed an ale baron who came from Lancashire But he wasn't rich, he was just another Wigan Peer (pier) I used to go out with her, she cooked me all my meals Then one day she made it big, she won 'Miss Macclesfield' She'll get fed-up with buffets, one day she'll come back She knows that all the real men live in Macc She'll tell me that she loves me and she hated living with toffs I'll slip her a length, then I'll tell her: 'Fuck off' I used to go out with her, she cooked a nice bit of grub, She may have been a beauty queen, but I'd rather go down the pub. ©1985 The Macc Lads N.B.- This song was written on 21/6/85, just after the Heysel Stadium disaster.          (When squashed Italian jokes were all the rage). N.B.- "Wine Bar"- We think this may be the place where women go at night. ( We tried to find out, but they wouldn't let us in- we had no mobile phone, and didn't arrive in a 4-Wheel Drive). TRACK CHAT HORRID HUNDRED