MACC LADS TRACKLIST J-L
JINGLE BELLS Muttley- There's loads of different recordings of this. Every year we tried to release it, and every year it was a disaster. Pressing plants wouldn't touch it, one load turned up without holes in, one load of singles arrived in February, and one year they arrived looking fine, but with music by some German oompah band.
Git- There is no evidence to prove that I ever cut corners on production costs. I only want the best for my boys. The pressing plants I used were all high quality establishments, not backstreet cowboy operations. Look on the bright side ... Think about the miserable Bavarians in lederhosen... Beater- Its just as well. Its a crap song.
JULIE THE SCHOOLY Git- Also known as 'Julie the Healthy Sandal' after a typing errot on the LP label. Non of the band has admitted to being the originator of the story. However, the morning after a night of filthy, perverted sex, Julie demanded a lift. She directed our unwitting hero to a school in Alderley Edge, and changed into her uniform en route.. causing severe damage to one of my fleet. O'Peesha- Another Julie story was about how she once wet herself in class:- On seeing the expanding pool of urine on the floor the teacher shouted: "Oh, Julie... why didn't you put your hand up?" "I did Miss, but it ran through me fingers." Beater- Which one of you twats is trying to sing a harmony on this? Its bloody rubbish.
KNOCK KNOCK Git-A great live song, where the lyrics are different every time. My favourite was: 'Urine!' ... "Urine who?" 'You're in for sloppy seconds at the gang bang.' I am also partial to the fretboard exploits of Phillip McCavity on this song. Although not his BO. Chorley- I liked the 'Gladiator' verse the best: 'Glad he ate her before they fucked her at the gang bang..' Stez- Who the fuck cares what you like, you fucking tart.
KNUTSFORD Git- The sacred cowshit hits the fan. When they finished recording this at Porky's, the Beater began pouring beer over the equipment, kicking the machinery, and attacking Porky Pig with a big stick with a wiggly end. Unaccustomed to violence, I grabbed the tapes, sped off in my limo, and later claimed to have been in Bournemouth at the time. Many stories appeared about this incident, but I later convinced Mr Pig that my boys had done a great service in publicising his studio. Beater- This is the only decent song we ever did. But the guitar break is too short. It should have gone on for at least another hour. Git used to say that everyone turned up to hear the lyrics. That's bollocks. They came to hear my heavy chords.
LADS FROM MACC McCavity- The first time I played this, a pint pot hit my guitar lead and knocked it out. So we all sang the 'Diddle iddle ee dooh di doo' bit. And it was dead funny. Honest. Mard- You only sang it coz you couldn't play it properly. Beater - Huh?... Look who's talking! O'Peesha- If you think about it, the bit in this song where Muttley gobs at the audience is probably the cause of the estimated 4 million tons of phlegm, sputum and greenies that have coated the band over the years.
LADY MUCK Chorley- The video to this is ace. I look great in spandex keks, and my bottom doesn't look big. ... Does it? McCavity- I remember hanging around McDonalds asking for change, and this posh tart offers to buy me a meal. I said I'd rather have the money, but she said I'd only spend it on meths. The cow.
LADY MUCK II Git- For reasons known only to themselves, Muttley and Mard decided to re-work the original, and get rid of all the HM nonsense. It now sounds like Klaus Wunderlich.
LUCY LASTIC Git- An ode to an ageing nurse. I have never seen the promotional video for this, but I have always been suspicious. Why did the lads need 5673 cans of Boddington's? Why not 5672? Why do I have to pay for these extravagances? Incidentally, Wildboar Clough is a tiny village in the hills above Macc. It is a very tight-knit community. If you get my meaning. McCavity- They don't like strangers. O'Peesha- Or tramps... Mard- Or anyone who isn't related at least twice.
TRACKLIST MENU NEXT TRACK