LADY MUCK ƒ  A F#m E D G I'm going to sing a song about Lady Muck. It wasn't her real name, but it rhymes with 'fuck'. I'm going to knack my voice doing this for too long, Come on, Fast Fret, let's get on with the song..... She was sitting at a table, shouting: 'Waiter! Where's the wine list?' (You don't come in McDonalds if you really want to get pissed) 'Take me for a drink!' She handed me her car keys, ' Get me out of here, This place is full of grelbies.' You can use her piss for perfume and her pubes for dental floss And her shit would make good toothpaste because she's so fucking posh Lady Muck Drove her out of town, Friday night was pay night, She said she was a witch, I turned into a lay-by Did a spot of snogging, had a spell of fingering Found out her name was Janet by the labels on her lingerie She had a fur coat and no knickers, but she were a real lady She never swore or farted when she spilt her chips and gravy Lady Muck ©1989 The Macc Lads N.B.- 'Grelbies' = HCPs- Horrid, Common Poor People TRACK CHAT HORRID HUNDRED