LUCY LASTIC ƒ   E A B G#m F#m In this life, there's a couple of certs, one is death, the other's a nurse Lucy's old, they say she's past it, but I gave her one, and her tits are that big. They said: 'Bollocks, they're made of plastic!' And that I never touched her, But that's just batshit. Lucy Lastic, we shagged everywhere, on the washer, in the kitchen, Twice on the stairs (Did you fuck, you're making it up) I got her a pint, took her back to our house, 'Are you sure you want to play with my little red mouse?' I found its tail by some loose elastic, the Russians are coming! This is drastic. I closed the curtains, sat on her belly, poured dogfood in her cleavage And thought about ripped wellies Lucy Lastic on a haystack, two pounds of tripe to take up the slack Lucy Lastic we shagged in a skip, dead cats in her knickers, tea bags on her tits We did it in a snowdrift in Wildboarclough, but Lucy Lastic was loose enough. ©1989 The Macc Lads N.B.-"Kitchen"- A room containing white pieces of machinery, women and the fridge.          "Washer"- Washing machine- the square white thing with the round window.                             ( Only women and poofs know how they work- don't worry about it). TRACK CHAT HORRID HUNDRED