MACC LADS TRACKLIST Ge-Gu
Git- For a period of time, Muttley kept disappearing at weekends,
and returned sounding like an
extra from When the Boat Comes In. He finally admitted that he
had been seeing a girly
but it all ended after an unfortunate episode with 'pease pudding'.
Chorley- I saw her once, she had a dead fat arse, unlike me,
who hasn't ... Have I?
McCavity- I set fire to her arse.
Muttley- I can't listen
to this anymore. It reminds me of penalties.
Git- The Germans surprised me wen we toured there. Far from being
the fun-loving scamps of
folklore, they were serious, efficient and laughed only when ordered
Mard- This was the most requested song when we toured Germany.
But we didn't play it.. we
played the ones they wouldn't like. Squarehead bastards.
Git- Muttley claims he ripped
this from 'Johnny Todd'
(the Z Cars theme).
I Panicked over
royalties and investigated.
Had I remembered that the poor boy is tone-deaf,
I could have
- or whatever it is that gramophone records cost these days.
GIFT TO WOMEN
Muttley- That barmaid from
St Helens.... I'd been at a party in Knutsford, and offered
bird a lift back in the morning. Of course, by the morning she'd grown
a curly tail and
Near Monk's Heath, the Viva breaks down. She thought I'd done it on
grabbed me while I was trying to find the bonnet release. I was pinned
down with the gearstick
in me ribs,
and her breath hit me. It was like a fog.
She must have been eating a
garlicky- spinachy thing with dogshit in it.
Anyway, I had to do the business, otherwise she
might have thought I was a poof.
Stez- She thought you were anyway.
Git- Never before has a
song's lyrics been quoted as grounds for divorce.
for the squeamish, this one.
Muttley- Its about that old Monty Python sketch where the woman
her plaice for a walk, even though its been dead for years. I've always
McCavity- Huh? Yer what?
Git- Since the Middle Ages
it has been a Macclesfield custom to
drink hideous amounts of ale, then
visit Gordon's to hurl abuse
and fight with other pissed peasants.
Gordon has smiled and taken the money.
Muttley- Me and Fast Fret wrote this on the way back from Gordon's
McCavity- We kept finding claws and fur and stuff in us gravy.
TO BE GORDON'S
Beater- This was about that
MP woman who said that all Northern men eat is chips.
why we're all fat and spotty. Should we talk about the handclaps now?
Chorley- Don't you fucking dare, you coon!
O'Peesha- We had to use a machine because Chorley couldn't get
the handclaps right.
Chorley- That's bollocks and you know it. I was the only one
Git- A song dedicated to
the obscene amounts of cash spent in the Grease Stop Challenge-
a post concert rite
practised by my boys. The winner being the one who eats most grease
- a disgusting
and unhealthy activity to which myself and the Beater were exempted
on religious grounds.
He is Moslem, and I hate wasting money.
O'Peesha- Mungo holds the record - 20 bacon, 20 sausage, 6 eggs,
6 black pudding, double beans,
double chips, 2 pints of milk and a penguin.
Stez- I used to slip the odd sausage into Beater's curry.
Chorley- At one grease stop, we all ate tons and the roadies
nicked the ketchup bottles. As
soon as we were in the van, they covered Nevis in tomato sauce.
"Tut! I feel like a fish finger now!" And Muttley shouts: "What? Already?"
up, I thought it was funny.
Git- I always thought it
fortunate that this story took place in Duckinfield.
Barrel- I wrote this.
Chorley- At one gig, we decided to start with this song. Lights
down, I sneak on, and start the
drums, then Muttley comes on and starts the bass- etc. Of course the
lights go down and
its pitch black. The first thing the crowd hears is me falling over
my kit and knocking all
the mikestands into the pit.