MACC LADS TRACKLIST Ge-Gu
GEORDIE GIRL Git- For a period of time, Muttley kept disappearing at weekends, and returned sounding like an extra from When the Boat Comes In. He finally admitted that he had been seeing a girly in Newcastle, but it all ended after an unfortunate episode with 'pease pudding'. Chorley- I saw her once, she had a dead fat arse, unlike me, who hasn't ... Have I? McCavity- I set fire to her arse.
GERMANS Muttley- I can't listen to this anymore. It reminds me of penalties. Git- The Germans surprised me wen we toured there. Far from being the fun-loving scamps of folklore, they were serious, efficient and laughed only when ordered to. Mard- This was the most requested song when we toured Germany. But we didn't play it.. we played the ones they wouldn't like. Squarehead bastards.
GET WEAVIN' Git- Muttley claims he ripped this from 'Johnny Todd' (the Z Cars theme). I Panicked over royalties and investigated. Had I remembered that the poor boy is tone-deaf, I could have saved 10/-6d - or whatever it is that gramophone records cost these days.
GOD'S GIFT TO WOMEN Muttley- That barmaid from St Helens.... I'd been at a party in Knutsford, and offered this bird a lift back in the morning. Of course, by the morning she'd grown a curly tail and trotters. Near Monk's Heath, the Viva breaks down. She thought I'd done it on purpose and grabbed me while I was trying to find the bonnet release. I was pinned down with the gearstick in me ribs, and her breath hit me. It was like a fog. She must have been eating a garlicky- spinachy thing with dogshit in it. Anyway, I had to do the business, otherwise she might have thought I was a poof. Stez- She thought you were anyway.
GONE FISHIN' Git- Never before has a song's lyrics been quoted as grounds for divorce. Not for the squeamish, this one. Muttley- Its about that old Monty Python sketch where the woman keeps taking her plaice for a walk, even though its been dead for years. I've always liked that. McCavity- Huh? Yer what?
GORDON'S REVENGE Git- Since the Middle Ages it has been a Macclesfield custom to drink hideous amounts of ale, then visit Gordon's to hurl abuse and fight with other pissed peasants. For centuries, Gordon has smiled and taken the money. Muttley- Me and Fast Fret wrote this on the way back from Gordon's one night. McCavity- We kept finding claws and fur and stuff in us gravy.
GOT TO BE GORDON'S Beater- This was about that MP woman who said that all Northern men eat is chips. That's why we're all fat and spotty. Should we talk about the handclaps now? Chorley- Don't you fucking dare, you coon! O'Peesha- We had to use a machine because Chorley couldn't get the handclaps right. Chorley- That's bollocks and you know it. I was the only one in time.
GREASE STOP Git- A song dedicated to the obscene amounts of cash spent in the Grease Stop Challenge- a post concert rite practised by my boys. The winner being the one who eats most grease - a disgusting and unhealthy activity to which myself and the Beater were exempted on religious grounds. He is Moslem, and I hate wasting money. O'Peesha- Mungo holds the record - 20 bacon, 20 sausage, 6 eggs, 6 black pudding, double beans, double chips, 2 pints of milk and a penguin. Stez- I used to slip the odd sausage into Beater's curry. Beater- Twat. Chorley- At one grease stop, we all ate tons and the roadies nicked the ketchup bottles. As soon as we were in the van, they covered Nevis in tomato sauce. Nevis goes: "Tut! I feel like a fish finger now!" And Muttley shouts: "What? Already?" Any road up, I thought it was funny.
GUESS ME WEIGHT Git- I always thought it fortunate that this story took place in Duckinfield. Barrel- I wrote this. Chorley- At one gig, we decided to start with this song. Lights down, I sneak on, and start the drums, then Muttley comes on and starts the bass- etc. Of course the lights go down and its pitch black. The first thing the crowd hears is me falling over my kit and knocking all the mikestands into the pit.
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