MACC LADS TRACKLIST A-B

ALCOHOL

Git- Ah, the Great Beer Drought of 1990. It lasted around 30 minutes...
Long enough for my boys to write The Beer Necessities LP.
The drought was due to Ben Nevis taking over the Bear's Head,
engrossing himself in 144 boxes of pork scratchings, and forgetting to order any beer.

Muttley- Well? Don't you fucking-well HATE queuing at the bar?

Beater- Stez made Slimy buy a kit with two bass drums,
just so he could show off on this song. And it sounds shite.
Apart from the guitar- which is great.

ALEHOUSE ROCK

Git- This title was suggested to me by a punter.
I was amazed by a sign of wit from one of the Great Unwashed,
and congratulated the oaf:
"A highly perceptive post modern pun," said I.
"Yer fuckin' wha'?" said he.

Mard- Pick one song we ever did. This is it. Great song.
Beater- Its rubbish.

ALL DAY DRINKING

McCavity- How come my guitar sounds like bagpipes on this?
Beater- Because you can't play.

Git- We presented ourselves at the Bear's Head to celebrate All Day Opening on the day the law was changed. Sadly, the staff had gone to another pub to hold their own celebration.

O'Peesha- Did anyone ever find out what "root beer" is?
Chorley- Yeah, its like a conditioner, it stops you getting split ends.

ALTON TOWERS

Muttley- Why the fuck do we ever go there? I HATE queues.

Git- I foolishly agreed to fund a Lads' day out to Alton Towers. Knowing it to be bereft
of beer, I predicted their sober return with change. Little did I realise that they
would take the road crew and immediately locate the jumbo hot dog stalls.

Beater- This place is full of horrible fat women with more kids than me. Its rubbish.

ANIMAL TESTING

Stez- It was great fun recording this one.
Beater- No it wasn't.

Git- I must point out that no animals were injured during this recording, as Stez discovered that thumping a dog did not actually sound like a dog being thumped. Likewise for cats, cows and coypus ...
What does sound right is a foot embedding in an Asian's stomach.

APATHY

Chorley- Don't know why, but we could never be bothered to play this at gigs.
Mard- We could never be bothered to record it either.
McCavity- Or write it.

APPRENTICE DENTIST

Muttley- This is brilliant. And its only got two chords in it.
Beater- Has it?
Mard- What? Only two? ... Not when I fucking well play it.
Barrel- I wrote this
Stez- I always wanted to be a dentist. In fact I think I'll practise on the Beater right now...

BACK ON THE PIES AGAIN

Dread- Jew's harp, jug blowing, drumming- da brudda got riddim innit?
Mard- Yer what??

O'Peesha- This song was dedicated to Barrel, Lockstock, Ben Nevis, Mungo, Killingman Giro, K2, Sandbach and all the huge, fat, lying, useless blubbery things that have accompanied us on our travels.

Git- It is interesting to note that I supplied two 'Tesco Value Individual Economy Pork Pies' for consumption on this track, and have not yet sent my invoice. Hmmm...

BAGGY ANNE

Back in the mists of time, when everything was in black and white,
When fags cost one and nine, and pavements stank of white dogshite,
This woman lived up Letsby Avenue, and you couldn't grow up without her havin' you,
She'd change a young boy into a man.... and her name was Baggy Anne...

O'Peesha- At the early gigs we didn't have many songs, so Muttley used to do poems.
Muttley- Did I? ... I forgot all about that.
Beater- Oh fuck... them bloody poems. Bloody rubbish.
Stez- It was great when he did them poems! I used to go to the bar in between songs.

Git- A tale of an evening in a backstreet pub where the infamous Old Tom barley wine was served. Legend says the landlord would only serve you a half, unless he knew you.

Barrel- I wrote this! This was for my first band in the sixties- The Beached Buoys.

BARREL'S ROUND

Git- I pointed out to Muttley that Gilbert and Sullivan had died 50 years ago.
Now anyone could steal their tunes. He returned from the pub with:
'Ooh Wank a Do, Wank a Day'.

Muttley- Beater said this song was shite when I wrote it.
He said no one would be interested that Barrel was round.
I told him it was a pun, but he still didn't understand.
Beater- I did yes!

Barrel- I'm not round, I've just got big bones.

BEER & SEX & CHIPS N GRAVY

Git- After recording, I touted the LP around major record companies. To no avail.
However, one company did write back: "We have no wish to promote the Macc Boy's
album 'Beans & Sex & Chips & Gary'..." Ah well..

Muttley- We recorded this one twice, for some reason. The second version was great.
Beater- The first version was shite, the drums were crap. The second version was OK.
Chorley- Cheers, Abdul.
Stez- Ha! The Beater didn't play on the second version!

O'Peesha- I wanted to be on the LP. Muttley said I could play mouth organ on this song.
I only had an organ in 'C', so they played the song in 'C'. Then they found out that I can't
play the mouth organ, so they beat me up and got the kazoos instead. I think the second
version (the one on the single) was better 'coz they played it in the proper key.
Mard- What the fuck is that bald twat going on about?

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