JB's Club, Dudley, 1985
Chorley
the Hord smiled a broad smile.
There on the tiny stage, sweating, straining, oozing, struggling,
wheezing,
gasping and blubbering was the most perfectly spherical creature known
to man.
Barrel was round!
They had to have him.
"Fancy roadying for us?" Hord enquired, stifling a giggle.
"Appen." Squeaked Barrel.
Chorley had to turn away. A straight face was now impossible.
And it happened.
A strange transformation had taken place.
Chorley burst out laughing, ran to gather the Lads, and proudly display
their new addition.
And it happened again.
An amazing metamorphosis had occured...
Barrel had
got fatter.
This perfectly
round lump of reassuringly pink shiny fat had increased in size.
This was fantastic. This meant endless mirth.
Back in civilisation Chorley visited the library and looked up the
Obese Recall Equation:-
3dy/dx-p=M+X[2y]
The human brain can only cope with a finite amount of corpulence.
If this figure is exceeded, the brain is forced to downsize, so
that the memory is not overloaded.
In other words, hideous tubs of lard are not filed away in their
true proportions.
Thus Barrel is 'reassuringly fat'- each time you see him,
he's fatter than you remember.
And a huge smile is born.
He was also completely useless and lied alot.
In the true tradition of Macc Lads' roadies, he was low-loaded to
concerts...
for the purpose of ridicule and abuse.
Evidence of
Barrel being a useless, lying fat cunt as follows:-
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