The
Lads were in the dressing room.
They were bored.
It was still an hour before the gig started.
Al O'Peesha had a brainwave, and the Lads retired to the bar and discussed
details.
Eddie Shit arrived, and his contribution was gladly received.
After the concert,
Bach was presented with a shoebox.
The box was sealed with gaffer tape and bore the legend:
'Very Important Equipment- Do Not Leave Behind'.
"Now then Bach, you fat fucker," said Al, sensitively, "You are
in charge of this box.
DO NOT LET IT OUT OF YOUR SIGHT!"
Bach nodded.
Later, the
Lads loaded up the van, and soon they were ready to go.
Everyone climbed aboard.
"Bach!" They screamed, "Where's the box?"
"Ooh fuck! Musta left it in t' dressing room!"
"Go and get it you useless lardy lump!" Chimed the Lads in unison.
"If I get out, you'll leave me here, like you usually do!"
"We can't go anywhere without the Very Important Equipment-
can we?"
Bach waddled
off to the dressing room, grabbed the box,
and wobbled back out into the carpark.
Which was now deserted, with the exception of a whiff of exhaust
fumes.
Bach sat in
the darkness.
"Tee hee!" He chuckled,
"They'll have to come back for the Very Important Equipment!"
He held the box tightly, and waited.
Around dawn,
it dawned on Bach that his plan might not be foolproof.
Around lunchtime
he decided it might be worth a peek at the contents of the box.
Bach was knocked
back by the smell, and immediately engulfed by flies.
Eddie Shit
can be relied upon to give birth at a moment's notice.
