Macc. English Dictionary


ƒ   E A C#m B

Went down Discount Giant, and stood in the queue
Looked in the next trolley, like you do,
Just standing, thinking, about this and that. Standing there, thinking-
There's low-fat this, reduced-fat that,
What the fuck do they do with all the fat?
And what do they do with the alcohol stuff-
The stuff they take out of the beer for poofs?
The lead out of petrol?
The fags with low tar?
What about the calories they've taken out of margarine,
Salad cream and Lean Cuisine, Heinz Baked Beans, and mushy peas?
Do they sling them into binbags and send them to Bosnia?

The bulb in the bog went, during a dump.
I'm sat in the darkness, with crap on my rump.
Sitting, thinking, in the dark,
Just sitting, thinking- How does Stevie Wonder wipe his arse?
When the first bit of bogroll leaves buttock cleft
I always inspect it, to see how much turd's left -
All those blind bastards are in the dark,
No wonder Blue Peter need sixty billion bottle tops,
Because, you know, it costs a lot to coax and train a guide dog
To lick your arse.

1993 The Macc Lads

N.B.- "Bosnia"- A foreign country full of starving refugees-
          See also: Eritrea, Kosova, Biafra, Ethiopia, India, Kampuchea, Liberia, Chechnya etc.
        - If you're thinking of emigrating, for fuck's sake don't move to a country that ends in "A".