FAILURE WITH GIRLS ƒ   F#m A B E D G#m C#m I've got an ugly face with spots all over the place, I haven't got any mates and my clothes have gone out of date, I go to the pub on my own and drink my orange alone I sit and stare at the crack, but they just turn their backs I want to chat them up, but I stare at my feet, Then I go home and I beat my meat, I'm dead shy about the size of my dick And chips n gravy make me sick I'm a failure with girls -I don't know why I'm a failure with girls -they make me cry I'm a failure with girls -they're so unkind Only wish I could say that I don't mind A Macc Lad said: 'Sonny, take note!' And he poured a pint of bitter down my throat, It was the first pint I'd ever had, and I turned into a real Macc Lad, My clothes started looking real flash, I grew a tattoo and a moustache And my car grew a go-faster stripe, Now I pull crack every night I'm not weak anymore, my dick measures 3'4", Don't you call me wimp- Its 3'4" even when its limp I'm dead macho with girls - I never fail I'm dead macho with girls - Coz I sup ale I'm dead macho with girls - Thanks to Boddies Only wish that I didn't have VD ©1982 The Macc Lads N.B.- 3'4"- Three foot four, (Three feet and four inches), or A yard and a hand.                      We're not sure what this is in metric, but we think its about ten kilos. TRACK CHAT HORRID HUNDRED